Marisol Rodriguez

Marisol Rodriguez

Clearfield, UT

I came to the US when i was 15. I was born in Mexico. I came alone in a plane with a Visa (tourist) I wanted to be part of the American culture and give my skills to the society. I knew no English. I ended up in my aunt’s house but being rejected by my cousins because my ways were too Mexican and i didn’t knew English. At school, my ELD teacher was a great guy who taught me a lot of my first English. I was given a recognition for an outstanding student in the ELD program in school. My first year in the US was sad and I wanted to go back to my country with my family and be with my sister and all the people i knew, but i also knew that i wanted to be here to be an American so i stayed. During summer my aunt and my parents had some problems and my cousin didn’t wanted me to be there any more so i got basically kicked out of the house and went to live with another aunt. When i got to my new house I was told that I was going to sleep in my aunt’s room because there was no other place to sleep. I slept in the floor for the first 6 months. later i was so tired of living here, having a miserable life, being rejected by my family, not being able to talk to people about me, not having food or money, and being treated in not a very nice way i decided to tell my parents to take me back to Mexico. My mom told me; you have fought your way for a year and a half by yourself and you are going to give up just like that?. I cried and begged my mom to let me go back and she finally said yes. A week later i found out i wasn’t going back but my mom was going to come to stay with me for a moth to give me strength again. She did but as a mom she realized how I was really being treated and she didn’t liked it so she tried to fix it by talking with my aunt. All that happen was that my mom also ended up crying and me kind of making fun of her by not being able to hold her tears. That is when i realized i could keep going and still pursue my dream. I put all my effort in learning English since my mother left again. Now my sister insisted she wanted to be with me and my parents told me she cried every day for me so they sent her too. I tried to hold them from sending her but she just refused and she came. I had to be stronger for me and my sister. I did everything i could to make my sister happy, but i felt like i failed every time. She wasn’t being treated very nice too. I was in war with my uncle an aunt because i tried to protect my sister. I can’t really tell all that I went trough because I don’t like remembering. Finally my parents moved here to the US with us and we moved to another state. I was extremely happy to see my parents and be with them and live with them and have a normal life. That is just when i realized I still had a lot more to go though. I started my junior year in High School. It was tough because no one would talk to me because I couldn’t speak English only write and read. This time I had another challenge: my parents. They don’t know English and I was the one that had to do everything for them. I learned a little bit more of spoken English but I was still rejected at school. There was only about 10 people who talked to me during the whole year. Money also started to affect my family. There is some times when we can’t afford food but my parents don’t want any help because they don’t want to be a problem for society since Mexicans are being targeted for social problems. I don’t blame my parents for that idea because its true. Many people only target Mexicans as the US biggest problem. I have been hit hard at school with comments that people don’t even realize they are not nice comments and they don’t even realize there are some people at school that are being affected by them. Once in History class we were supposed to come up with our own country and the biggest three laws that were going to rule your country. One of the kids said that his biggest law was going to be that Mexicans were banned from that country and if there was any found they would be kicked out of the country and marked like cows in the hand and if found again with the mark as a proof they were going to be tortured and killed. That was a hard thing for me to hear and I was speechless while some people laughed and others said nothing. I kind of think that this guy is being a Hitler or something because that is no human way to think. That is school and there is where I have heard most of the hardest comments in my life. Right now I am a senior in high school and I’m really looking forward to go to college and be really successful. I want to help make movies like animated or 3D stuff. I have the opportunity to go to college but I have no SSN and the universities I am looking at need it. I also have no money and I can’t get any federal aid. I can’t get a job to help me pay because i have no papers to do so. My dream is breaking my hearth is giving up and sometimes i can’t stand living like this any more but I think of my dream and it gives me a push to keep going. Now I have another problem that has become a fear. Mexico is going crazy. I don’t want to go back there to be killed for trying to do things right and not being part of a bad society. I like it here I love that I have freedom and I am able to be good and follow the rules. I love where I am, I love the peace, I love the language. I love the people, I love the country and even though I live as an American I am not considered American. It hurts to know that no matter how much you love this country and how hard you try to survive, this country just doesn’t care for you and considers you something useless, a problem. I am an American you like it or not.

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